Tears Don't Fall
by Kason08
Summary: After Edward leaves in New Moon, Bella moved on. But her wedding day was far from perfect. 75 years later she's alone and the Cullens show up. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_Flashback_

Bella stood at the altar. Her hands rested in the hands of the man in which she was about to devote her whole life to. A bright smile was plastered on her face as she looked up at the tall dark haired man. They had finished reciting their vows and exchanged their rings. The officiator was just about to make it final, "I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride." A giggle escaped Bella's lips as she stood on her tip toes to meet her new husband's lips. It was the happiest she had ever been.

Just as the two broke their first kiss as husband and wife a crash from the back startled the crowd and a scream pierced their ears as chaos soon flooded the scene.

_End Flashback_

**Izzy's Point of View**

I was sitting on a window sill, lost in my memories when someone had tapped me on the shoulder. I turned away from the window, from the darkness of the night and was face to face with a seven year old girl rubbing her eyes.

"Izzy, I can't sleep," she whined. I gave her a small smile and replied, "Do you think you'll sleep better if you lay with me?" She nodded and a small but tired smile appeared on her face. I got down from my spot at the sill and walked over to a rusty old full sized bed. The little girl climbed up from one side and I the other. She got underneath the covers but I remained on top. I put an arm around her and she nestled in my chest. I knew my skin was cold for her but somehow it brought her comfort.

I started to play with my ring which now hung around my neck and was about to get lost in my thoughts once again when the little girl quietly asked, "Are you thinking about him again?" I closed my eyes. It was an innocent question yet it still stabbed my non-beating heart.

"Yeah, honey, I'm thinking about him." If I could cry, I would have but that was impossible as a vampire.

"Maybe you should sleep. Sleep always makes me happy." I just smiled.

"I know."

"Izzy?"

"Hm?"

"Can you sing me that lullaby?" Another stab. I cursed myself for ever humming it to her in the first place.

"No problem sweetie." The pain was screaming in my chest as I hummed the lullaby. The lullaby that was made for me by the man who said he loved me. I continued to torture myself until the little girl started to breathe deeply and had fallen asleep.

I'm Isabella Marie Black. People know me as Isabella "Izzy" McAverty. People also believe that I'm 17. Though I look it I'm actually 95. I'm also a vampire.

_**Author's Note/Disclaimer: So there it is, the prologue to my first story. I hope you guys like it. I'm kinda new at this whole fan fiction thing so lots of reviews will help a whole bunch. Thank you for reading! All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer  
**_


	2. Stephanie and Jennifer

**Chapter 1**

_Flashback_

Bella was in pain. She felt like she was on fire. It was just like Phoenix when James had bitten her but this time it was worse. The girl tried to scream at the top of her lungs but she couldn't move. Why couldn't she move? She could hear people running around screaming. She could hear growls and snarling and hissing. What was going on? It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. It was her wedding day. How could it go all wrong?

_End Flashback_

**Izzy's Point of View**

"Stephanie?!" A woman's panicked voice brought me back to the present. My door opened and a young woman stood at the threshold with relief as she saw that her daughter was quietly sleeping in my arms.

"Sorry Jenny. She couldn't sleep last night," I explained. An understanding smile crossed her sullen face. Even with the bags that had formed under her eyes and her raggedy clothes and the lines that were starting to form, the woman was still beautiful, even for a human. I watched her as she walked around to the other side of the bed to wake Stephanie. They have been good to me but I knew that I was going to have to leave them soon. Over the past 75 years I had been coming and going in people's lives. Usually those people were orphans or runaways. It was only once in awhile that I was taken into an actual home.

"Steph, honey, it's time to get up please," Jenny said softly as she nudged her daughter. The girl lying next to me opened her green eyes, eyes that matched her mother's. They were jealous of my golden brown eyes but I was envious of their green eyes. They didn't change when they got hungry. They were normal.

A small smile appeared on Stephanie's face. It's one of the reasons why I loved this girl, she always woke up with a smile. It was like she had slept all her troubles away and she could start anew. Her bright smile always made me smile. "Mommy, I had a nice dream." Her voice was hoarse yet cheerful.

"Oh really? What did you dream about?"

"I dreamt that was I riding a really big dog. He was nice and warm and we went through the forest and we stopped by a stream and we went really fast. Can we get a dog mommy?" A tinge of guilt knotted up inside of me. Her mother just smiled down at her.

"Maybe someday sweetheart but right now you need to get up and get ready for school." The girl didn't argue and she continued to smile as she hopped off my bed. School wasn't too bad when you were a first grader. I continued to sit on my bed, playing with my ring. I was going to have to apologize. I have been foolish and reckless when I came into this family, humming my lullaby, telling stories of giant dogs. I was getting a bit too attached here. I even had a small group of great friends. We weren't a large 

group, just four of us but still. I knew that I was going to leave all of this behind. The pain was just the consequence of my stupidity.

Not wanting to get lost in my thoughts again, I walked over to the mirrored dresser. The top was covered in dust and it didn't look stable at all but I learned that looks could be deceiving. I looked myself in the mirror. My eyes were getting to be a dark brown. I was going to have to hunt soon. Boston was a nice place. There were lots of woodlands just outside the city. I would have to sneak out tonight. Hopefully Stephanie wouldn't have a hard time sleeping.

I started to rummage around through the dresser trying to find something to wear. I didn't have much to choose from. Blood stained clothes would look a bit suspicious and I usually threw them out after going hunting. I was going to have to rummage the streets to find some new ones. Settling on a pair of worn out jeans and a grey oversized t-shirt, I slipped out of my PJs and into the attire. I looked at myself again in the mirror. There were a few dirty spots on my face and my hair was tangled. I was glad that I didn't have to shower often, just after hunting usually. It was only Stephanie and her mom but I hated being another dependant for the woman who was already working two jobs to support her daughter.

I started to brush out my hair as I remembered the time I ran into Stephanie.

_Flashback_

She was walking home by herself. Her bus stop wasn't that far from their little apartment. A small group of pre teen boys were approaching her. I heard her heart beat quickly and she had started to hyperventilate. I stepped out of the alley in which I was rummaging in and saw that the boys were pushing her around and making fun of her worn out jeans and old worn out backpack. My temper was starting to flare and I quickly made my way as I started yelling at them to leave her alone. The boys scampered off as I kneeled down at the green eyed, brown haired girl.

"Are you okay?" I had asked her. The tears were falling down her chubby cheeks.

"Yes," she mumbled but it looked like she was going to sob at any moment.

"Are your parents around?" I stroked her hair, trying to comfort her.

"My mommy's at work. I'm supposed to go home and lock the doors and not let anyone in," she said. It was like the line had been rehearsed.

"Where does your mommy work?"

"At that diner across the street." I had looked towards where she was pointing and saw a small diner. It looked a bit run down but it was still decent looking.

"What would happen if you walked over there?"

"Oh nothing, I just can't bother mommy because she's working but the people there are really nice. Would you like to go?" She was a bit more cheerful now. The sobs were forgotten.

I had stood up, gathered my duffle bag from the alley and we walked over to the diner. We were greeted by a few happy employees and a shocked and worried mother.

"Stephanie, is something wrong?" The woman came over to us and she eyed me a bit suspiciously.

"I'm fine mommy. Mrs. McGrath's son was making fun of me again but then she came and scared them off!" A smile appeared as she pointed up at me.

"And who's your friend dear?" There was a hint of fear in the mother's voice. I had never introduced myself to Stephanie but I held a hand out and answered the mother's question.

"I'm Izzy McAverty. I'm new to town. I was worried about leaving her by herself after those boys so I hope you don't mind if I brought her here." The mom looked a bit taken aback at my answer. She took my hand and shook it. I loosened up my mind and a lifetime of memories and feelings flooded over me. It hurt like no other but I had been curious. This was my power. I could touch someone and I could hear every thought, see every memory, it was like their mind was an open book. It was also the reason why I remember every single detail of my human life. I could see that the woman's ex-boyfriend, the father of the little girl, had been an abusive one. I could see that he had once tried to kidnap her from school. I quickly let go of the woman's and tried to keep my composure. If I had been human tears would be running down my face but it was one of those times where I was glad that vampires couldn't cry.

"Mommy, can Izzy and I stay?" Her face was pleading. Her mother couldn't say no to those eyes and gave us a booth. Stephanie and I sat there as she did homework and I watched. Every so often her mother would offer something for me to eat. Every so often I had turned down her offer. She had asked how I couldn't be hungry and I just politely smiled saying that I was used to it.

At around six her shift was over. At that time she was only working one shift.

"Izzy, where do you live?" I couldn't look at her. I felt a bit uneasy.

"I… I don't have a place. I… I just got into town today."

"You don't have any parents?"

"My… my parents… they've… they've already passed." I clutched my torso. It was the memory of how they died that made me want to crawl into a ball and start sobbing. I looked up at Stephanie and her mother. Both of them looked at me in shock. They had the same green eyes and the same brown hair. There was a tense stillness in the air between us.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the woman whispered. I turned my head to stare out the window. Another silent moment.

"Mommy! Can Izzy stay with us?" It was my turn to look surprised.

"Oh, no, it's okay, I couldn't… I mean… I've only met you… and…"

"I think we can find a place for her." I continued to look at both of them in shock. Stephanie started to squeal with joy. We had walked to the rundown apartment complex across the street. A twinge of guilt 

came over me as we entered the small apartment. It was old, it was simple, the windows were broken, the refrigerator was old and noisy. The woman led me through a narrow hallway and opened a squeaky door to a simple room. It had a dresser and a rusty old bed.

"Stephanie still sleeps with me so the room is empty for now." A wave a gratitude washed over my guilt as I gave her a hug.

"Thank you so much," I whispered.

_End Flashback_

When I had finished brushing out the tangles in my hair, I looked at myself one last time. I didn't recognize the girl who was staring back at me. I couldn't believe that at one point in my human life I wanted to become this. Sure I was beautiful but I was tired of this life. What I would do to go back to my human life. Be happy and have my family with Jacob. It took a few months but I had realized that he was the one I loved. He had always been there for me. He never hurt me the way that… the way that leech did. No, I couldn't call him a leech. I was just like him now. It still hurt, the way he left but who could blame him.

NO! I wasn't going to get into an argument with myself again. I wasn't going to bring myself down. It was in the past and there's nothing I could do about it now. I put my shoes on and grabbed my backpack and headed out of the room trying to put the past behind me.


	3. The New Kids

**Chapter 2**

_Flashback_

"Have you thought about registering for school?" Bella looked up from the television. "I mean I know I'm not your mother or anything but I really think you should go to school. You're only in high school once." Bella chuckled at the statement but she was already ahead of the woman.

"Yeah, I have a registration form already. I was actually going to ask you to sign it." Bella got up and a sheepish expression was laid out on her face. The two person family had done a lot for her in the month that she lived with them. Bella was now working at the diner and she had a place to stay.

"It would be my pleasure."

_End Flashback_

**Izzy's Point of View**

"Hey Jennifer, what's for breakfast?" It was probably the one of the few rules I had in the apartment. I had to eat. Not only was it 'good for me' but I was also setting an example for little Stephanie. Stephanie's mother placed a plate of waffles and bacon on the table. "Yum, waffles and bacon." I tried not to cringe. A small frown appeared on my face. I started to chow down and Jennifer placed a glass of orange juice next to my plate. I held my breath to dilute the taste. "Sorry about that whole thing this morning. Maybe I should refrain from telling Steph fairytales about giant dogs."

"Oh, it's fine. At least it's nothing scary like vampires." She let out a heartfelt laugh. I could only give her a fake smile. I hurried through my breakfast and was almost done when Stephanie arrived in the kitchen. Us three girls were silent as we ate breakfast. The air was content.

It wasn't until the buzzard of the apartment when we started hurrying ourselves. That buzzard was a sign that my friends had arrived in front of the apartment complex to walk me to school. I finished my food and chugged down the orange juice, grabbed my backpack, slipped into a hoodie said my goodbyes and made my way down the stairs.

I was greeted by two guys and a girl when I exited the apartment complex. The girl, Karen, had long red hair and brown eyes. She too was beautiful for human terms. The two boys were twins, Ronnie and Bobby. They were both blond and blue eyed but Ronnie's hair was spiked while Bobby's hair was shoulder length and curly. It was his hair that got him the name Goldilocks. Karen and I hugged as we said our good mornings. We walked side by side as the twins walked behind us, like body guards.

"So, there's going to be a few new students again," Karen explained. I didn't think much of it. Our school had students coming and going all the time.

"Oh? What's their story?" I looked over at Karen.

"I'm not sure. I've been hearing a lot of things I just don't know which one's true." I knew that she wasn't going to say anything more. As much as she loved dishing out info on the new students and their 

background, she didn't like to say anything that she wasn't sure of. That's why I liked her more than Jessica Stanley even though they were similar. A small furrow appeared on her face like she was trying to pick out the truth from the lies.

We got to school and the ten minute warning bell rang. Ronnie and Karen parted from us as the two walked to their shared locker and Bobby walked me to my locker. His was next to mine and he had helped me with mine on my first day. It was a tricky one. We busied ourselves at our lockers for a few minutes. Although I had super human speed, Bobby was done before me. He had shut his locker and leaned his back against it. I was slowly putting my needed books in my backpack when I heard him say, "Hottie alert!" I had rolled my eyes without looking up at him. "Oh crap, I think she heard me! Crap, hide me please!" He turned so that he was facing me. His cheeks were bright red with embarrassment. I looked at him and laughed. I tried to look past him to see what girl had caught his eye this time around. Unfortunately there were many girls in the hall and I had no clue as to who he was talking about.

"So, what did she look like?" I continued to put my books in my backpack as he answered.

"She was blond with brown eyes. I think?" I laughed at him. "Hey, none of that! You know I suck at giving descriptions!" I patted him on the head.

"I know Bobby, don't strain your little mind too hard now." He stuck his tongue out at me like a little five year old. I just laughed again. Bobby walked me to homeroom. The halls were crowded just as usual. It was the reason why we had a ten minute warning bell AND a five minute warning bell. Then there was the one minute warning bell. Why we had a one minute warning bell I had no idea.

I entered the classroom alone just as that one minute warning bell rang through the halls and I got to my seat in the back. Homeroom wouldn't be so bad if I had Karen or one of the twins with me but that wasn't the case. I was stuck in a room with people I didn't really like. People who thought they were better than me because they were well off. They were people who were like Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley. I put my hood up and took out my notebook. I started to doodle as the bell rang. The noisy room soon quieted down and Mr. Scotts started roll.

"Isabella McAverty?" Without looking up I raised my hand and continued to doodle. Just as Mr. Scotts finished taking roll, the door opened. I had figured that it was either a tardy student or a new student. Either way it didn't interest me too much. I was concentrated on my drawing. It was like my hand had a mind of its own as the pencil tip flew across the page.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new student with us. Would you please introduce yourself?"

"I'm Emmet Cullen, from Forks Washington." I froze. It sounded like Emmet but I refused to look up to make sure. The pencil in my hand fell to the floor. I didn't move to pick it up. I just sat there. Not moving. Was it true? Was it Emmet? Maybe I would be able to smell him. I took a deep breath in and immediately started cursing myself for doing so. All I smelt was blood, the blood of the humans around me. My throat started to tighten and I was starting to notice how dry it was. How long had it been since I last hunted? Emmet had sat down next to me which only made things worse for me. I had to get out of there though. How stupid could I be?

When Mr. Scotts sat down at his desk and the class quieted down to do homework, I got up and whispered to the young teacher.

"Mr. Scotts, I need to use the bathroom. It's a… woman emergency." There was no way he could say no to that. His cheeks turned to a light pink color as he nodded. He handed me the pass and I was out the door.

Quickly, at least as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself, I walked to the woman's bathroom. I leaned over the sink and tried taking deep breaths as I let the cold water run. I was definitely going to be hunting tonight. I put my hood down and washed my face. The running water seemed to have calmed me a little. I looked up at the mirror. The girl that was looking back at me was beautiful yet so empty. It wasn't the same girl who once lived in Forks. So, they had moved back to Forks awhile. Curiosity filled my mind. Had they seen the grave of my family? Had they seen my own grave? I clutched my torso again as painful memories flooded my mind. How could the Cullens leave me? How could my family be dead and here I am, a leech? Why couldn't I stay dead?

I collapsed onto the floor, sitting and my legs crossed in front of me. I started to rock back and forth. 'Breathe Iz, breathe. Just breathe. Get yourself together,' I coached myself. 'You're stronger than this. Get a hold of yourself.' I steady my breathing in order to get a grip on myself. I clutched myself tighter. 'It won't be too bad. It's only Emmet. It's only one class. They won't recognize you. You're a completely different person than you used to be.' It was true. I wasn't the same person I once was. My voice was softer and smoother, my face more defined. It had been about 77 years since I last saw the Cullens. They probably believed I had moved on and if they had seen my grave they thought me dead. They wouldn't have a reason to even think that it was me.

I stood up after calming myself down and splashed cold water on my face again. I turned off the faucet and wiped my face. Without looking back at the mirror I left the woman's bathroom and back to homeroom.

Before entered the room I pulled my hood up again. I opened the door and hung my head. I gave the pass back to Mr. Scotts and said thank you. He just nodded and I walked back to my desk. I kept my head down and tried not to make eye contact. I held my breath. I didn't want to get tempted again. I slouched down on my chair and was going to continue my doodle when I realized that my pencil was nowhere on my desk.

"I think you dropped this." It was Emmet. I could see with my peripheral vision that he was leaning over and was holding up my pencil. I quickly took it and started to play with my ring again.

"Thank you," I mumbled. I knew he could hear me clearly but I was trying to disguise my voice.

"Nice drawing." I looked down at my picture and to my horror I had started to draw my Jacob. It wasn't anything definite. I only had his strong face and his intense eyes but I knew that if I had continued the finishing product would be Jacob Black. I closed my notebook.

"Please DON'T," I hissed through my teeth. My voice was filled with irritation and anger and hurt. He got the message.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he sat back in his seat. I put my head on my desk, turned away from Emmet. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get out of there. I just wanted to run and be free from this place. It was going to be a long day.

**Emmet's Point of View**

How lame was this. I wasn't going to have homeroom with anyone in my family. I was going to see if I could dazzle the lady in the office and ask her to change my schedule so I could be in a homeroom class with one of my siblings. It was important for us to be together right now.

I opened the door to the room and I had to stand up in front of class and introduce myself.

"I'm Emmet Cullen, from Forks Washington." It was kinda hard for me to say Forks Washington. Sadness came over me but I kept my face straight. I wasn't going to be viewed as a wimp on my first day of school. Someone's pencil had dropped and distracted me. My eye caught the pencil roll underneath an empty desk next to a girl in a dark blue over sized hoodie. I couldn't see her face. It was hidden in the depths of her hood. She didn't move to retrieve the wood writing utensil. I walked down the row and sat down in the empty desk. I picked up the pencil and was about to give it to the girl but she had gotten up. Did I do something wrong?

"Mr. Scotts, I need to use the bathroom. It's a… woman emergency." Bahahaha! Oh goodness, it took me all that I could to not burst out laughing. I saw Mr. Scotts's expression and it was so priceless. I think my family would love to hear this. My family. The giddiness subsided and I was now thinking about my family. I was thinking about Forks. Edward was an idiot. He shouldn't have left Bella. She could've been my baby sister but we left. He said it was for her own good. It would make her happy. What do we find when we did go back? We found her grave. The image was still clear in my mind

**Isabella Marie Black  
September 13, 1987 – August 26, 2008  
Darling Daughter and Loving Wife**

So she had moved on. I tried to be angry at the guy for not protecting her but when I had seen his grave next to her I couldn't help but feel remorse for them. When we heard what had happened to them our family had fallen apart right then and there. It was Claire Clearwater who was now 79 who told us the horrific story.

Bella had found love. She had moved on. She was getting married to Jacob Black. On their wedding day everything was going perfect but that all ended when Victoria and a large group of newborn vampires came and ambushed the ceremony. It was just as the officiator had said you may kiss the bride. There was a crash and a scream and a lot of people died. It pained us all. Poor Edward, he hadn't been the same ever since. None of us had. She had died just a few weeks before her birthday. She didn't even make it to 21.

The door opened and closed and I knew it was the girl in the hoodie. I looked up and watched her walk to her desk. Remembering that I still had her pencil, I leaned over towards her and said, "I think you dropped this." I gave her a half smile. It didn't feel right to be happy after remembering what happened to Bella. The girl snatched the pencil from my hands and I watched her play with her ring that hung around her neck. I peered down at her notebook to see what she was drawing. It was a face in the making. It was really good from what I saw even though it was only the head and the eyes. The eyes had so much intensity. I had never seen anything like it.

"Nice drawing," I complimented. What I got next was something I wasn't expecting. Instead of a polite thank you, she shut her notebook and in an angry whisper she replied "Please DON'T."

I was taken aback. I was speechless and shocked. I looked at her for a minute. I was going to say something witty but I thought it wouldn't have been a good idea. I may not have Jasper's power but I could tell when someone was hurting and this girl was hurting. I was too. It was something we had in common.

"You're hurting, I can tell. So am I." If vampires could cry, I would have cried then and there.


	4. Lunchtime Visions

**Chapter 3**

**Izzy's Point of View**

I wore my hood up for the rest of my morning classes. So far there were no signs of the rest of the Cullen kids. I tried to keep my mind off of them but Emmet's last words played over and over in my head. I arrived at my locker and started to unpack my books from my morning classes and switch them with the books for my afternoon classes. Bobby was already there. I was glad of it. As soon as he saw me he started talking about his day.

"So, you know how I said hottie alert earlier? Well, the hottie was in my math class. I was so embarrassed. I would not stop blushing. I felt like an idiot!" I smiled at this as my head was hidden in my locker. Bobby would always talk about how he was going to talk and flirt with the girls at school but when it came to actually doing it, he was too shy to do anything. "Her name's Rosalie Hale. She came from Forks." I closed my eyes and paused. Of course Bobby would like Rosalie. The girl was beautiful upon beautiful. I calmed myself before taking my head out of the locker and closing it.

"Hey Bobby, can you do me a favor and stay close?" Curiosity and worry filled his eyes.

"Yeah, of course. Is anything wrong?"

I shook my head no, "I just… just stay close… please?" I pleaded. He was really worried. I could tell. I made sure that my hood wouldn't fall and I allowed Bobby to walk me to lunch with his arm around my shoulders. He wasn't as fit as Emmet but he was still built. He was more of Jasper's build but Bobby was taller and warm. I loved the warmness.

We arrived at the cafeteria and got in the lunch line. I didn't dare my eyes to wander around the room to see if the Cullens and the Hales were there. I picked up a cup of mixed fruit and water. I paid for my food and Bobby and I walked to our usual lunch table with Ronnie and Karen. I placed my chair next to Bobby's and sat down. I put my fruit and water on the table and left it there. I took out my notebook and pencil. Putting my feet up on the chair and pulling my knees close I started to play with my ring as I started to finish my sketch. I could feel Bobby's arm around my shoulder's again. I could feel Ronnie and Karen's eyes on me and Bobby. They were confused. I could tell that Bobby was trying to tell them with his eyes that he didn't know what was going on either.

"Iz? Are you okay?" Karen asked me.

"I'm fine. I just… I don't feel all too well," I replied to her without looking up.

"Are you sick?" It was Ronnie who asked this time. I had already used the whole time of the month thing with Mr. Scotts. It wouldn't hurt to use it again.

"Not exactly. Karen would probably understand." I peeked up from under my hood and she had understood. She gave me a light smile and continued with her lunch.

"So, did you guys meet the new kids yet?" I was hoping Karen wasn't going to bring it up but it was her nature to be the talkative one. "I met Alice Cullen. She's so nice. A bit quiet but still really nice." Quiet? Alice? That didn't sound right. Alice quiet and Emmet hurting. It wasn't right. I frowned.

Did something happen? "I hear that Alice is adopted by a young doctor named Carlisle and his wife Esme." The names that I haven't heard in a long time rang through me head. The names of the people who I had loved. The people who I thought of as family. The people who left and hurt me. "I think there are five of them? There's Alice… Rosalie… they're the only girls and then three boys. Jasper, Emmet and…"

"Can we not talk about them?!" I said a little too loudly. The pencil in my hand broke into three pieces and fell to the floor. The other students near us had stopped their conversations and stared at us. I still didn't look up to meet Karen's eyes. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut for once? I stopped breathing. I didn't need to breath. I pushed all the emotions deep down. I was trying to bottle it up inside. It was something I had been doing for the past 75 years. Bury my past, my emotions deep down and ignored them. The rest of the students went back to their chatter but my friends continued to stare at me.

"I'm sorry. I've just been feeling irritated all day. I just want to get through the day and go home and sleep." I looked up at Karen who had understanding in her eyes. Bobby tightened his hold on me. I was going to have to give this up one day. I was going to have to get up and leave.

"How about we take a walk," Karen suggested with a small smile. I smiled back at her and nodded. The four of us got up and started walking. Bobby still had his arm around my shoulders.

**Emmet's Point of View**

I sat at lunch with my family. None of us bothered to get in the lunch line. Usually the majority of us would have grabbed a tray and bought food just like the rest of the students. I was too tired to get up. Vampires weren't supposed to be tired but I just didn't feel like getting up. I just felt like sitting and hold Rosalie in my arms.

We were all lost in thought when we heard someone yell, "Can we not talk about them?!" I looked up to see where the outburst came from. It wasn't that loud. It was just the super human hearing that came with being a vampire. The voice was familiar. I looked over at a table of four. I saw the girl with the hoodie. Her back was towards us. I remembered how she acted in homeroom. I felt bad for the girl. I looked over at Jasper. He too was looking over at the girl. I felt bad for Jasper. I looked over at Edward. He didn't seem to be phased by the girl's outburst. He kept his head down and stared at the table. That's what he did with most of his time, stare at something. I shook my head. I held Rosalie tighter in my arms.

"She's really hurting." I looked up at Jasper and tilted my head to the side.

**Jasper's Point of View**

The sadness. When was the sadness going to end? Even Emmett didn't have any energy. Rosalie never looked at herself in the mirror and my Alice, she wasn't jumping up and down with excitement. Then there was Edward. He was an empty shell. Nothing came from him. No sadness, no regret, nothing. He was numb.

I tried to focus on the emotions of the other students around us but nothing could balance out the pain in which my family felt.

"Can we not talk about them?!" To the sensitive vampire ears, the girl sounded like she was yelling but only the people around her seemed to have heard her. I was curious and I read her emotions.

WOAH! If I thought my family was hurting, this girl was practically dying on the inside. She was scared, she was lonely, she was heartbroken, she was betrayed, she was irritated.

"She's really hurting," I said to my family. All but Edward looked up at me. I frowned at her direction and continued to read her emotions. "A lifetime of emotions is bottled up inside of her. She feels sad, betrayed, scared, vulnerable, angry, irritated. How can one teenage girl feel all of this? I've never felt this many emotions in any one person." The girl and her friends had gotten up and a wave of relief flowed through her but the other emotions were still plainly there.

"The girl's in my homeroom class," Emmet stated. A frown was also on his face. "She sounded like she was hurting. I accidentally took a peek at her opened notebook. There was a drawing. It wasn't done. Just the head and the eyes but it was really good. I tried to compliment her but she shut the notebook and told me off." He wasn't angry. He was a bit more curious and worried and sympathetic.

Suddenly a different wave of emotion was coming off of Alice. I quickly turned my head and saw that she was having a vision. The mixed emotions got me worried but when Edward's head shot up and fury poured through his body, I got scared.

**Edward's Point of View**

"The Cullens and the Hales,"

"The new students,"

"They're so gorgeous,"

"They're all adopted?"

"What's wrong with Izzy?"

"It's okay Izzy, I'm here for you,"

"Why are girls so scary when it's that time of the month?"

"Can we not talk about them?!"

Everything was the same to me. It didn't matter what all those people said or thought. It was all the same.

"Edward?" That voice. I know that voice. The sweet beautiful voice of my Bella. How could it be possible? I looked up and noticed that Alice was in one of her trances. I read her mind. I could hear Bella laughing. I saw her bright smile but something was different about her. I held her in my arms.

No, it wasn't true. How could she see that?! It's not possible! She's dead! Alice how could you?!

"Stop it right now Alice! Just stop!" I stood up in a hurry and knocked my chair over. I slapped my hand on the table and it echoed through the lunchroom. Everything went quiet. "Stop it," I hissed at her. I walked out of the cafeteria. Anger ran through my veins.

**Alice's Point of View**

"Stop it right now Alice! Just stop!" I pulled myself out of the vision. I jumped when he slapped his hand on the table. A knot of guilt formed in my stomach. I could tell that Jasper was trying to calm us down but Edward was too far in.

"Edward, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean it… I…" He didn't seem to hear me as he hissed at him and then he was gone. "I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry." I could feel Jasper's arms around me. I leaned into his chest and sobbed. I wanted tears to run down my cheeks. I wanted that satisfaction but I couldn't.

"It's okay. It'll be okay," I heard Jasper whispering. The lunchroom started to get noisy again and I was glad. "Sh, it'll be okay." A calm wave washed over me.

**Rosalie's Point of View**

I was scared. I was angry and scared. I was angry at Edward for leaving Bella. I was scared that my family was getting torn apart. I had never seen Edward this way. One minute he was hollow and then the next minute he was yelling at Alice. What had she seen to make him so angry?

"Alice?" I started quietly and slowly. "What did you see?"

My sister was sobbing and it pained me to see her like that. Jasper must have worked his power because her sobbing soon subsided and she turned to me and Emmet.

"I saw her. Happy, with him, laughing." I was shocked beyond belief. Maybe it was all the emotions that were making Alice's power a little off. That wasn't possible. The two would never be happy again. The thought of it stabbed me in the chest. I never hated Bella. I was actually kind of jealous of her. I was really starting to like her. I knew that Emmet and Alice loved her. Jasper felt guilty. He felt that if he had controlled himself, we wouldn't have had to move. I missed the old days when we were in Forks. I wish things were back to the way it used to be.


	5. Bathroom Girl Talk

**Chapter 4**

**Edward's Point of View**

I stormed out of the lunchroom. I felt betrayed. How or why did she see that? It wasn't possible. Maybe Alice was just as broken as I was. I stopped in the hallway and tried to calm myself but all the memories I had of my Bella came rushing through my mind. I could smell her sweet scent. It was as if she was right next to me. But THAT WASN'T POSSIBLE. I had to get out of that place. I held my breath as I walked down the hall. I didn't want to smell, I didn't want to think, I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to remember. It hurt too much. Passing a group of students I finally made my way outside. The weather was practically reflecting my emotions. Fat drops of water fell from the dark cloud filled skies as I continued to walk. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care at that moment. I just needed to get out of here.

**Izzy's point of view**

Karen, Bobby, Ronnie and I walked down the hallway away from the cafeteria. We were walking slowly, taking our time. I could hear the commotion in the cafeteria. We were far enough away for my friends to not get what was going on but I could hear. What was Alice doing? Was she having a vision? If she was, what was it about that was making… HIM so upset? I had yet to say his name. I didn't have a reason to say it.

"So, anything new?" Karen asked. She was never one who enjoyed silence. None of us said anything. I heard the cafeteria door open and close. I was scared as to who it was. After my outbreak and the commotion at the Cullen table I once again didn't dare look to see who it was. I kept walking as I pulled myself closer to Bobby. He tightened his hold on me. I could hear whoever left the cafeteria, quickly walk towards us. I slowed down a bit so the person could go past us. I tried to hide my face even more as I felt the person right next to us. Not wanting to see who it was, I shut my eyes, though I had a hunch.

I felt him pass by quickly and heard him open the doors that were just ahead. Instead of following him out the door, my friends and I turned the corner into another hall. I knew Karen wanted to talk about it. She always said that talking helps but she also believed that it only helps if you're ready to talk about it. I preferred burying it deep into my self-conscious and not think about it ever again. I was never one to share my feelings.

I finally opened my eyes and looked ahead of me. The long hallway was empty but I could feel my claustrophobia creeping in. I didn't know if I could handle this. I might have to schedule a move to a sooner date.

"Come to the bathroom with me?" I looked over at Karen and nodded.

We slowly made our way to the bathroom. It took us longer than it should have. As soon as the door was properly closed Karen bombarded me with questions.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Concern filled her voice. I gave her a weak smile.

"Yeah, it's you know… that time of the month… and I don't… well you know how it feels… bloated… cramping… I just don't feel-"

"Don't you dare say it Izzy. You're beautiful! All the girls on the cheerleading squad would KILL to have looks like yours." I turned away from her and looked at the mirror. My face was hidden in the darkness of my hood. I frowned. It wasn't the real thing that was bothering. I didn't have cramps, I didn't have bloating and I knew I was beautiful. Still, what could I say to her? I couldn't tell her the truth. God knows I couldn't tell her the truth. I didn't want to pull her into this. Hell, I shouldn't be friends with her or the twins. I was endangering their lives in more ways than one.

Karen gave me a hug and I turned to bury my face in her chest. "It'll be okay. Whatever you're going through, it'll be okay." So, she didn't buy the whole time of the month thing. I just loved this girl. I felt the red head stiffen a little as she asked slowly, "Does it have something to do with the Cullens?"

"No, I'm just tired of hearing about them. They're just new students. We get new students all the time. Yet, they stir up all this… I don't know… gossip. It's really not a big deal." I hated lying to her but in a way only part of it was a lie. The gossip on the family seemed to be more than previous new students.

"It was the same way with you." I looked up at her. I could feel my eyes go wide. She just nodded at me with a small smile. "No parents, no money, no home and yet still beautiful. You just somehow appeared. You didn't seem to have a history. People assumed the craziest things about you. I think there was even a rumor that you were a runaway convict who was wanted for murder." She giggled. I couldn't help my smile. "Don't worry. All of this will die down soon enough. People are only talking because they're beautiful."

"They're not THAT great looking," I mumbled. Karen laughed.

"Oh Izzy, you have nothing to be jealous about. So tell me. Are you warming up to Bobby?" An eager smile appeared on her face.

"NO! I just… he's a really great guy. He's really sweet but he's just not my guy." I smiled but my eyebrows were forming a furrow. I turned away from her and started to play with the chain on my neck.

"Iz," Karen was talking slowly again. She was cautious about her words. "I don't know what happened between you and your last boyfriend but, maybe, it's all in the past. Maybe it's time to move on."

AH! I just wanted to shake her! I just wanted to yell at her! I had moved on! I was happy and then it was all snatched away from me. Every time I was happy, that happiness was greedily stolen from me. I was never meant to be happy. I closed my eyes at the thought. I knew she was just trying to help but it wasn't helping at all. There was silence once again but it was short lived as the lunch bell rang.

"Come on, let's go. You'll be alright Iz. I guarantee it." She hooked her arm around my waist. I made sure my hood was on and we walked out of the bathroom. Bobby and Ronnie were waiting for us. Bobby exchanged spots with Karen next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders.

"So, everything's alright?" he asked cautiously. I smiled up at him.

"Yeah, it's alright." We walked down the busy hallway for class.

**Alice's Point of View**

I needed to get out of the noisy cafeteria. I couldn't be in there anymore. I didn't want to look at my family. I got up and excused myself. I walked out of the lunchroom and headed towards the bathroom. I was walking a little too fast. I even went the long way and I was still there within a minute. I hoped that no one saw me. I just needed to be alone. I entered the bathroom and quickly locked myself in the last stall and I sat on the ground next to the toilet bowl. I hugged my knees closely to my chest and rested my head between my knees. Why did I have that vision? What was wrong with me? It hurt to even think about it. I felt the guilt throughout my body. I started to rock back and forth.

The door to the bathroom had swung open but I stayed completely still. I had gotten here first and I just couldn't move now. I didn't have the motivation to move. I could see Jasper's worried face heading towards the bathroom and meeting up with two guys who looked like they could be twins. He wouldn't be able to disturb me in here. The two girls however, they were a different story.

I was taking in deep calming breaths as quietly as I could when the girls started talking

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, it's you know… that time of the month… and I don't… well you know how it feels… bloated… cramping… I just don't feel-"

"Don't you dare say it Izzy. You're beautiful! All the girls on the cheerleading squad would KILL to have looks like yours."

I had frowned. If the girl was on her cycle I would have smelled it. But I didn't smell anything of the sorts. It was very curious. What was also curious was that her voice. It was so familiar. It sounded hollow and sad but still so familiar.

"Does it have something to do with the Cullens?" They now had my complete and uninvited attention.

"No, I'm just tired of hearing about them. They're just new students. We get new students all the time. Yet, they stir up all this… I don't know… gossip. It's really not a big deal." I wasn't sure how to react to that. I was glad that she wasn't paying much attention to us. We were supposed to blend in. We weren't supposed to cause controversy or attract attention. On the other hand, she was so cold about it. Like she hated us but what did we do to her?

"It was the same way with you. No parents, no money, no home and yet still beautiful. You just somehow appeared. You didn't seem to have a history. People assumed the craziest things about you. I think there was even a rumor that you were a runaway convict who was wanted for murder."

I was taken aback. This girl wasn't a… was she? No history, no parents, beautiful, murder, they were signs of a human blood sucking vampire. What was she doing here? I was horrified but I thought to myself, maybe I'm just jumping to the wrong conclusions. Maybe she's just a pretty runaway who people gossiped about.

"Don't worry. All of this will die down soon enough. People are only talking because they're beautiful."

I sheepishly looked down at the floor. Rosalie would probably like that comment.

"They're not THAT great looking." What was it with this girl? Why was she so mean?

"Oh Izzy, you have nothing to be jealous about." Yeah, don't be jealous. You wouldn't want to be us right now.

The two girls continued their conversation. I listened carefully, but not at what they were saying. I listened for their heartbeats. No matter how much I focused my hearing, I could only hear one heartbeat. I froze. The other girl HAD to be a vampire. Was she a vegetarian like us or not? Surely people would notice red eyes but maybe she had contacts on?

I slightly jumped as the bell rang. I made sure the girls were out of the bathroom before I got up and rushed out of it. As I entered the hallway, I ran into Jasper. He had something to tell me and I had something to tell him. I led him into an empty classroom and I talked as fast as I could in a whisper only he could hear.

**Jasper's Point of View**

I abandoned Rosalie and Emmet at the table and went after Alice. She was fast but I knew her scent all too well and I followed it. Unfortunately it led me to two guys standing in front of the door of the girl's bathroom. I obviously couldn't barge in with the two standing there. I smiled at them and continued to walk by until I turned the corner. I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. The emotions coming from the girl's bathroom was overwhelming. How many girls were in there? I could feel Alice's emotions. They were changing and it made me nervous. Was it because of the other girls in the bathroom? I tried to focus on the other girls in the bathroom. To my surprise the majority of the emotions were coming from one girl. It had to be the same girl in the cafeteria. It was still a strange thing that this girl was feeling so much and at such a young age. I would love Edward's power right now. I wondered what was going through this girl's mind.

I continued to sit there as the emotions constantly changed. It was draining. Anger, sadness, hurt, those words just didn't cut it. Her emotions were much deeper than that. She was feeling things that… no mere mortal could ever have bottled up inside. Then it hit me. What if she wasn't a mortal at all? This girl was different from the rest of students. I dug around deeper at her feelings. There was a familiarity of a certain feeling. I just couldn't pin point it. It was there but the feeling wasn't as strong as the rest. I started to feel anxious myself as I tried to focus on that one feeling. It occurred to me that it was the feeling of hunger. No, not hunger, thirst. The reason why it was familiar was because it was the same feeling my family and I get when we hadn't fed in awhile. This girl wasn't human. She was a vampire.

I sat there as I started to comprehend this information. Another vampire, what were the chances of that? The bell rang and I still sat there in utter shock. I had to tell Alice. I quickly got up and hurried to the girl's bathroom, accidentally bumping into Alice. She pulled me into an empty classroom and started talking fast and quietly so I could only understand what she was saying.

"The girl. The one in the cafeteria. I don't think she's human! I was in the bathroom when she came in with another girl and I could only hear one heartbeat! I think she's a loner because she arrived alone but there were rumors that she was wanted for murder but it could be just some stupid high school rumor thing but I KNOW there was only one heartbeat in the bathroom."

"I know. She was feeling thirsty. I mean, it was nothing compared to the other things she was feeling but she was thirsty." Alice looked at me with curious eyes.

"What was she feeling?"

"All kinds of emotions and they were so strong too. Like, the word anger doesn't define what she was feeling. She was hurting really bad. I don't think our pain could compare to hers. She's just plain miserable. She doesn't want to go on living."

"Maybe she's lonely. Maybe she doesn't understand what's happening to her. She's not a newborn obviously. Half the school would be dead by now. Should we talk about it to Carlisle?"

"Maybe. "

"I mean, we don't have to take her in but maybe just explain what's going on and how to live a life."

"Yeah, it couldn't hurt."

The one minute warning bell rang and Alice and I quickly left the empty classroom and parted ways for our next class.


	6. Control

**Chapter 5**

**Izzy's Point of View**

I had gotten through my physics class without any sign from the Cullens and I was relieved that none of them were in my advanced art class. That was my favorite class. I didn't realize it until recently but I was quite the artist. I was glad to find something that I was good at and enjoyed at the same time. Art was my escape from the cruel and cold life in which I lived.

Everything I was feeling before had been left at the door when I walked into the art room but when the bell rang and I stepped out of the room, the emotions were starting to creep back up on me. I had one more class, creative writing. Bobby's class was a few hallways away and probably wouldn't be able to escort me to my last class. I clung to myself as I walked the crowded hallways alone. Claustrophobia was seeping through once again and I was starting to hyperventilate, the smell of blood was so tempting and my mouth started to salivate with venom. Damn. I needed to control myself. Luckily, Bobby met me halfway to my last class. I relaxed a little as he had his arm around my shoulders. I had put my hood down in the safe art room but now that I was out of its sanctuary I had once again hid my head within the darkness.

I held my breath as I got to the door of my creative writing class for two reasons. One, I didn't want to be tempted by the room filled with warm blood. Two, I was nervous and scared about seeing a Cullen. I was lucky however, not a sign of the beautiful family appeared when I looked around the room.

"I'll see you after class then?" Bobby asked. I turned and looked up to see his face. There was still a hint of worry on it.

"Yeah, after class." I hugged him, something I usually didn't do in school. He hesitated for a split second but then returned the hug. I walked into class a bit more relieved but still held my breath. I was thirsty and I was overwhelmed. I sat at my desk and took out my notebook. I turned the pages until I arrived at the unfinished sketch of Jacob.

"Might as well finish," I murmured to myself. I took out a new pencil and the lead tip once again flew across the paper and I slouched in my chair as I unconsciously played with my ring. The bell rang and the class was starting to get quiet. I didn't look up as Mr. Martinez started class. I could only dwell in my own pathetic thoughts and painful memories.

"Everyone, I have the pleasure of introducing to you a new student." I paused. No. This wasn't happening. What happened to my luck? I frowned down at my desk, not looking to see which one of Carlisle's and Esme's adopted offspring was going to be joining my class. "This is Japser Hale. Where are you from Jasper?"

"My family and I moved here from Forks, Washington."

"Oh wonderful! A small town family. Well, I hope you enjoy it here." This was going to be worse than having Emmett in my homeroom class. There, I could just simply ignore the vampire with the body builder stature and pretend to actually do some homework but in creative writing, we did peer editing every so often. This was going to be frustrating. Maybe I could give up and just reveal who I was. But how would they react? Would they be angry? Sad? Would they get up and leave? Countless scenarios played through my head at the single 'what if' question.

I continued to look down as Jasper walked away from the front. I was hoping upon hope that his desk wasn't anywhere near mine. This was so stressful and irritating and it was pissing me off. I listened carefully as Jasper took a seat at the other side of the room. I let out a sigh of relief. It was then that I remembered why I was holding my breath in the first place. The smell of sweet human blood crept up my nose and once again my mouth started to salivate. Crap. My body started to stiffen as I tried to resist the temptation of feeding off these humans. One hand curled into a fist around my ring and the second curled into a fist around my pencil, crushing it. I stopped breathing and closed my eyes.

'Not here, not now, not here, not now,' I told myself over and over again.

All of a sudden a calm wave came over me. I knew it was Jasper. I was grateful but I wanted to be upset. How dare he try and control my emotions! But then again if he didn't I might do something I might regret. I was angry but I couldn't be angry. Argh! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs! I wanted the day to just end. A stronger wave of calmness came over me. I put my head down on my desk. I was starting to feel tired. Was this normal vampire behavior? I knew vampires didn't sleep but did they ever get tired?

"Ms. McAverty!" I shot my head up. Apparently Mr. Martinez had been taking roll. "Sleeping isn't allowed in my class, Ms. McAverty." His voice was stern and upset. If he only knew what I was capable of. Usually he was a pretty good teacher, however, I wanted to slap him across the face and yell at him for even thinking that I was capable of sleeping.

"I apologize, Mr. Martinez, it won't happen again." I could hear the snickers from my classmates. Now, if THEY only knew what I was capable of. I was starting to get upset again. Jasper was probably keeping tabs on me because another wave of calmness came over me. Mr. Martinez started talking about our next assignment and I slouched down in my chair and folded my arms across my chest and didn't unclench my fists. Papers were passed out and things were explained but I couldn't concentrate on that now. I had to keep from feeding off of these people. The class fell silent as people soon began to get to work with whatever they were supposed to be working on. I glanced up at the clock and there was still 30 minutes left of the 60 minute class. I could feel Jasper desperately trying to get me to calm down. I allowed the calmness to run through my body. I didn't move from my position though. I was afraid that if I moved I would lose all control. I sat there for five minutes saying to myself, "Not here, not now, not here not now. Be strong, you can do this. Just hang in there for a few more minutes. Then you get to go home and lock yourself in the bedroom until Jennifer and Stephanie goes to sleep and then you can get something to feed on. Just hang in there. Don't do anything rash. It's not worth it. What would the Cullens say?" The thought of the Cullens opened up a new argument with myself.

"Who cares about the Cullens? It's their fault that you were turned into a vampire."

"Isn't this what you wanted though? Isn't this what you were desperately asking that… leech?"

"Things change. I changed. Being a vampire wasn't what I wanted anymore. I wanted Jacob. I wanted to have his children."

"Technically a part of him will always be with you."

"It's not the way it should be though. Why couldn't things just go well for me? Why couldn't I be happy for once and let it stay that way?" The sadness that I was so used to began to substitute the feeling of thirst and want of blood.

_Flashback_

Jacob laid on his bed, holding Bella in his arms. They were getting married in the morning. Bella was excited and happy but she was also scared and nervous because she had something to tell Jacob and she didn't know how he would handle it.

"Jake," she whispered. "I know it's kinda sudden but what do you think about kids?" Jacob smiled.

"Just as long as I have them with you. That's all I ask for," he whispered back. Bella moved closer next to her fiancé and she leaned her head on his chest and wrapped her arm across his torso. He was so warm. It felt nice as the cool summer breeze drifted through the opened windows. He kissed her head.

"Jake, I love you."

"I love you too Bella." The two laid there in silence happy and content with the exchanged words. "Now, tell me what's on your mind." Bella smiled a small smile. She couldn't get anything past him.

"Jake," she started slowly. A small frown appeared on her face. She sat up in the bed, not feeling comfortable lying down. A worried look was on Jacob's face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He too sat up. Bella took Jacob's hands and held them in her's. She gave him a calm smile and said "I'm pregnant." Shock filled the air. She could feel his warm hands trembling and she got scared. Was he getting angry? Bella looked into his eyes and saw that tears were coming to his eyes. His lips curved upward as he laughed. It was a heartfelt, happy laugh. Bella couldn't help but smile along with him.

"How long?" he asked in excitement. The tears of joy were falling

"Three weeks," Bella whispered. It was her turn to cry tears of joy. "I was scared to tell you." Jacob took her face in his hands and leaned his head and rested his forehead on hers. She closed her eyes as she took in his scent.

"You shouldn't be. I love you Bells. Nothing's going to ever change that." He touched his lips with hers and it really hit him. "I'm going to be a father!" he whispered with a smile. Bella nodded and the two cried tears of joy.

_End Flashback_

I rubbed my abdomen. Jacob's child was still there. I could feel it inside of me. The sadness rushed through me as I pondered on the fact that I would never get to see this baby grow up. I would never have a decent home for it. I would probably never find out if it were to be a girl or a boy. It was frozen in time just like me. I will carry it for the rest of my days, a reminder of what I could've had. I looked back up at the clock, I still had 15 minutes left of class. Ugh! Why couldn't time go faster?! Another rush of the calming emotion came over me. I was probably driving Jasper nuts. For a vampire I was pretty moody. I looked down at my desk. My unfinished sketch of Jacob still laid there for the world to see. I took out yet another pencil and let my hand do all the work.

**Jasper's Point of View**

It was an eventful day. Probably the most eventful first day of school I've ever experienced. It wasn't over however. I entered the classroom and a thick cloud of sadness suffocated me. It had to be the girl from lunch. I quickly glanced around the classroom and saw a familiar hoodie. She had her hood on and was doodling in her notebook.

I walked over to the teacher's desk and introduced myself. He smiled and started class.

"Everyone, I have the pleasure of introducing to you a new student. This is Japser Hale. Where are you from Jasper?" I was politely smiling at the class. How many times have I stood in front of a new room of curious eyes? It was countless.

"My family and I moved here from Forks, Washington," I replied politely.

"Oh wonderful! A small town family. Well, I hope you enjoy it here." I nodded and smiled and headed for an empty seat. Before I could sit down I started to panic. The girl was thirsty. There was temptation overpowering her. I did my best to calm her. She was feeling grateful but I could feel anger creeping in. What was upsetting her? I sent another wave of calmness; a stronger one and the girl put her head down. I relaxed and turned my attention to the teacher who was taking roll.

"Isabella McAverty." There was no answer. Mr. Martinez looked around the room. "Izzy McAverty." His eyes stopped at the hoodie girl. "Ms. McAverty!" The girl's head shot up. "Sleeping isn't allowed in my class Ms. McAverty." I started to worry again. She was starting to feel irritated and upon hearing the giggles and snickers from our classmates, she was getting angry. She was tempted to kill them all at that moment. I tried to pour calmness into her body again; this time an even bigger dose. This one got through to her and I was starting to relax again. I kept a careful watch on her but her cravings were soon disappearing and annoyance kicked it and then the sadness. She was drenched in it. This girl was so overwhelming. I tried to concentrate on the work that I was supposed to be doing but I was worried that if I didn't keep tabs on her something bad would happen. Worse, if she started attacking the students I don't think I could hold back and would join the wrath.

A part of me wanted to switch classes but a part of me wanted to stay, to make sure this girl, whose name was apparently Izzy, would be okay. Izzy, short of Isabella from the roster. Hopefully no one called her by her first name. It would kill Edward. A twinge of guilt came over me as I remembered why we had got up and left in the first place. I had attacked her. I couldn't control my instincts. I looked over at Izzy, she had a hand on her abdomen and a rush of irritation and frustration added to the sadness. I once again tried to calm her. I could feel defeat and she started working on something in her notebook. For the rest of class I kept a careful watch on her but she didn't get the cravings back. It was only sadness that she felt and it was as if she had become accustomed to it.

The bell rang but before I could walk up to her, the girl named Izzy had left the room.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay, this chapter wasn't showing up for some reason but hopefully it works now. I would just like to thank all of you who are reading. I appreciate your support so much. I'm almost done with the next chapter but kinda stuck on it. The chapter after that however is done and just needs to be edited so you can expect another update this week. Again, thank you SO much.**

**Kason**

* * *


	7. Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

**Chapter 6**

**Izzy's Point of View**

Just as he had promised, Bobby was there after class, waiting for me at the door. He resumed his spot by my side and his arm around my shoulders. I hurried myself at my locker and we met up with Karen and Ronnie just outside of the school. As we walked to my apartment complex, Karen happily chatted away about her day. However, she didn't mention anything about the Cullen kids or the Hale kids. I was relived. I tried to enjoy myself with the humans and for a few glorious minutes I felt like I was a teenager, walking home from a day of school. However all of that was forgotten and panic swept over me as the sun was creeping out from behind the clouds. Timing was seriously out to get me. I pulled my hood as far as it could go and slipped my hands in my sleeves. Bobby, feeling that something was wrong, tightened his hold on me and I walked slightly faster.

We finally arrived at the complex and I hugged and said my goodbyes and I rushed inside cursing myself. I slowly made my way up the stairs thinking to myself of the day that I was going to leave this all behind. I was causing myself more pain. I was stupid and my stupidity was my source of the sadness.

I got to the apartment door and I frowned. I could hear voices inside. Jennifer should have been at work and Stephanie wasn't supposed to be home for another hour. I cautiously unlocked the door and slowly opened it.

"Mommy, I'm still really cold." I relaxed at the sound of Stephanie's voice but worry soon came rushing in.

"Hello?" I called out.

"In here Izzy," I heard Jennifer cry back. I walked down the small hallway into Jennifer's room. On the bed was a pale and sweaty Stephanie with Jennifer holding her in her arms.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern.

"Oh, she just has the flu. Her school called me earlier, telling me she had thrown up in the middle of class."

"Aw, are you okay Steph?" The little girl shook her head.

"I'm cold Izzy." Tears were coming to her eyes. I could tell that she was feeling uncomfortable. I could only look at her with sympathetic eyes.

"How was school, Iz?" Jennifer asked. I hesitated.

"It… it was fine."

"Is everything alright?" Her voice was filled with concern. I felt guilty. She should be worried about her child being sick but she was concerned with my trivial problems.

"Yeah, it's just… it was a tiring day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to be left alone tonight." Jennifer nodded with understanding and I left her room and entered my own. I let out a sigh as I closed the door and leaned my back against it. Now I had to keep myself busy for a few hours. Then, sneak out, hunt, and sneak back in. I've done it plenty of times before. It was the 'keeping myself busy' part that was hard. I needed to keep my mind off the memories for a little while. I hopped into my bed with my backpack next to me. I opened it up, took my books and notebooks out and tried to do homework. I started with Spanish and Physics. They were easy. Economics and Calculus were easy but they were annoying. I hated math. Even though economics did little to do with math, the price and demand graphs were quite annoying and doing them over and over again for the last 75 years, you would've been sick of them by now too.

I took my time answering questions and reading the material. I picked up the writing assignment and my heart just sank. We were supposed to write a descriptive narrative. We were supposed to take an event in our own personal lives and write five pages worth of what happened. The event should have taken only minutes, half an hour at most, but when we were done writing, we should be so descriptive that it ended up being at least five pages. There were so many things that have happened in my life that I could probably make a series of books out of them. However, the majority of that series would be depressing and sad and full of anger and hate. You couldn't call what I've been doing the past 75 years living. I wandered around from orphanage to orphanage, from shelter to shelter. Hell there were times when I just stayed in abandoned buildings or lived out in the streets. There wasn't much I could do without any identification or money.

I decided not to do the writing assignment yet. I didn't know if I could handle it or not. Now I was faced with another problem. It was only seven in the evening. Jennifer was still awake and was probably just finishing up cooking dinner. She would be knocking on my door in a few minutes telling me that it was time to eat. Then I would have to wait for her to go to bed which meant I still had about three or four more hours to kill before I could go out and hunt. I was really in need for a good hunt. I cursed for allowing myself to go so long without hunting.

As I laid on my stomach, I opened up my sketch book. My sketch of Jacob was done and a small smile appeared on my face as I looked down at him. A sob was threatening to escape my throat but I pushed it down, not wanting to worry Jennifer and Stephanie. I turned the page and once again, allowed my hand its freedom. I took a deep breath in and out, soothing me a little.

I continued to draw until I heard a knock at my door. Quickly, I laid my head down and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. Another knock came from my door before it was opened.

"Izzy?" It was Jennifer. I laid still, breathing, listening. I heard Jennifer enter my room and approach my bed. I heard my papers and books being picked up and being placed on the floor. I felt my sketch book slip from underneath my arms. The pages were being turned and I listened to the gasps of Jennifer as she turned them. When she was done flipping through my art work, she placed the sketch book on the floor with the rest of my things. She walked out of the room closing my door behind her. Now there was nothing for me to do until she went to bed except reminisce on my past.

**Alice's Point of View**

I followed Jasper into our home with Rosalie and Emmett trailing in behind us. "Esme, we're home," Jasper announced. We sat ourselves in the various places in the living room just as our mother had entered it. Jasper and I had taken the loveseat while Rosalie and Emmett took the long couch. Esme joined them, putting Emmett in the middle with her and Rosalie on either side of him.

"Care to explain why your brother came home early?" she asked. Worry was all that was shown on the faces of my family. A twinge of guilt rolled through me and Jasper slide his arm over my shoulders, pulling my body closer to him.

"I don't know how or why but… I had a vision," I hung my head in shame. "It was of Edward… and Bella… together…hugging… laughing… being happy…" I heard a quiet gasp from Esme.

"How is that possible?" she wondered out loud.

"I… I don't know…" The vision couldn't possibly come true. We all saw her grave. We were told by Claire herself that the funeral was an open casket. It was impossible that Bella was alive. "It's just frustrating. I don't know what's wrong!"

"Maybe you're broken," Emmett suggested bluntly. That got him a slap in the back of the head by both Rosalie and Esme. "Ow! Well, it could be true."

"Emmett," Rosalie scolded but she looked over at me with worried eyes. She too believed that I was broken.

"Maybe… maybe it's just this emotional rollercoaster that we've been going through since we found out about Bella. I don't know!" I threw my hands in the air in frustration. I got up and started pacing the floor. "I mean, it's possible right? We've never had something like this happen to us." I could feel the sobs building up inside of me. "I've never felt this way before. We all knew that it was inevitable. We all knew she was going to… pass but why does it feel all wrong. Why does it feel like nothing is going to be as great as it was? This hurts more than anything. I've seen people die in person, I've seen them die in my head, hell, I've been the reason why some people die and yet, it never felt like this."

Jasper got up from the couch and approached me. We stood face to face with each other and he looked deep into my eyes. I was calm and it wasn't from his ability. It was just something he did to me. I could look at my husband and see an eternity of devotion and love in his eyes and it immediately calmed me. He took me in his arms and held me tightly.

He kissed the top of my head and said, "It's okay to feel this way Alice. It's understandable. Bella wasn't just a regular, everyday human. She was a part of this family. She was your sister and your best friend. You loved her and she you. You are acting no different than if it was I or someone else in this family who were to pass away."

I sighed as I thought about his words. "I guess you're right. Still, it hurts and it's frustrating."

"I know, but I'm here and I'm going to help you through it," Jasper whispered in my ear. It sent shivers up and down my spine. Oh what this man does to me. He chuckled and squeezed me tighter before letting go and pulling me back onto the loveseat.

Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and I continued to sit in the living room in silence. All of us wrapped up in our own minds.

A few hours later, Carlisle came home. He walked into the living room but stopped in his tracks when he saw the five of us sitting around with solemn expressions on our faces.

"What's going on?" he tried to ask as calmly as he could. "Where's Edward?" There was a slight panic in his voice. We all looked up and pointed to the ceiling, indicating that my brother was upstairs. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down in a single chair. "So, will one of you be explaining about the long faces?"

"Alice is broken." Again, Emmett was blunt with his answer.

"Emmett," Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper all scolded him. Carlisle looked at him with a curious gaze.

"What do you mean broken?"

"He means that my visions are out of whack. Okay, it was only one vision but it's still out of whack," I tried to explain.

"What do you mean by out of whack?"

"I had a vision of Bella and Edward together and no, I wasn't remembering the past. I know a vision when it comes and this was a vision but I don't understand how it is possible." Carlisle just sat there contemplating on his thoughts. "Maybe it's stress?" I looked at Carlisle.

"It is possible. I can see what the books say but I'm not sure I'll be able to find much." I nodded in understanding. What was he going to look for, overly stressed psychic vampires and screwed up visions? I leaned into Jasper a bit more.

"Also Carlisle, there's a vampire at school, Izzy McAverty," Jasper announced. Emmett was surprised at the news.

"Woah! That girl's a vampire?"

"Yeah, and she was tempted in feeding off the kids in our last class." A tense silence filled the room.

After a few minutes Carlisle asked all of us, "What do you believe we should do?" Jasper went ahead and listed our options.

"Well, first thing we could do is do nothing. However, if she slips up, especially if I were in the class with her, things won't turn out well thus leading us to leave and her getting a possible visit from the Volturi." I could tell that my Jasper had thought about this a lot. "The second thing we could do is just kill her." 

Carlisle was about to protest however Jasper beat him to it. "But, I know how you don't enjoy that idea Carlisle which leaves us to a third option. That is to help her."

"How do you suppose we help her?"

"I really don't know but you don't feel what she feels Carlisle. She seems confused and angry and sad. No, actually, it's deeper than that. When I'm in the room with her, I'm just swamped and being suffocated with this despair. It makes me not want to live anymore. I don't think she really understands what's happened to her. I think we should either help her understand or just put her out of her misery."

"Alright, Jasper, how about you approach her tomorrow and invite her over. Then we can take from there," Carlisle suggested.

"We can all go and invite her." I suddenly perked up. I was always looking forward to making new friends.

"I don't think it would be wise, dear. We don't want to smoother her right away and if she does panic I can easily calm her down." I knew Jasper was right but that didn't mean I wasn't disappointed at all.

"So, it's settled then."

My family and I continued to sit there in silence. At one point Rosalie had gotten up and left to go hunting but the rest of us were all contemplating different things and getting lost in our own little worlds.

_**Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter. This is mainly a filler. Not my best work. Actually I think I really dislike this chapter. I had a really hard time with this one. But, yeah, anyways, again, thank you to all the readers and all of you who reviewed and who favorited (I know that's not a word) the story and put it on alert. I appreciate all the support you've all showed me.**_


	8. The Hunt

**Chapter 7**

_Flashback_

"No! Please don't hurt me!" A young man yelled at Bella. Her eyes were black as she flashed her venom covered teeth. She had him pinned to the wall, crushing him. "Please!" His words meant nothing to the monster that had taken over. Bella leaned over at sunk her teeth into the man's neck. He screamed in pain and she started to suck his blood.

The warm, thick liquid ran smoothing down her throat. She was in total bliss. The man had stopped struggling and withering. His skin was paling and his body was cold. Bella drank his blood to the last drop.

When the monster was satisfied, Bella pulled away and looked at her victim with horror. "Not again," she whispered. She dropped the body and ran out of the alley, trying hard to push down the sobs that she wanted to cry.

_End Flashback_

**Izzy's Point of View**

I was still laying in bed, in the same position as when Jennifer had left my room. I was dwelling on all those who I've killed because I couldn't control myself. The last man was 25. He had been married for a few months and his wife was expecting their first child.

It was an accident, I had told myself over and over again, but it still didn't wash the guilt away. There was no justification to my actions. In the beginning I had the excuse of being a newborn but my last human victim was only seven years ago. I had been a vampire for 68 years and I still didn't have complete control.

I continued to lay there in self disappointment while I listened for Jennifer and Stephanie's deep breathing, indicating that they were asleep. It wasn't until eleven in the evening when I thought it was safe to get up.

I got out of bed and changed into a set of older, worn out clothes. Another good quirk about being a vampire was that I could sneak out of the apartment swiftly and quietly without tripping. I was no longer the clumsy, awkward Isabella Swan. I grabbed an extra set of clothes and stuffed them into my backpack. After listening once again to make sure that Jennifer and Stephanie were sleeping, I climbed out of my window and landed onto the fire escape. I made my way swiftly down the rusty stairs, not making a sound. I landed on the ground, ditched my backpack at a nearby dumpster and started to run.

I ran at human speed for awhile, heading towards the outskirts of the city where I would be greeted with woodlands and wildlife. As soon as I reached the woods I went full speed as I started to smell for something to hunt, allowing the monster to emerge once again.

**Rosalie's Point of View**

I watched a young deer from afar. Emmet loved grizzly bears, I loved deer. He loved to wrestle with his dinner, I loved chasing it. It was the chase that made me go into a rush. I walked closer to the deer. It was drinking from the small creek. I could smell its sweet warm blood and I allowed my vampire instincts take a hold of me. I growled and bared my teeth. It must have heard me because its head sprung up and its ears perked, listening. I could see the fear it its eyes. I growled again and the chase began. I ran through the thick forest, keeping the deer in my line of sight. A part of me was curious because this deer seemed like it was trying to get away from multiple attackers. It would run one way, and then realize that it was running towards it and then it would run a completely different way and at one point it even ran towards me. It was very curious indeed. The other part of me, the monster part of me, didn't care about which way it ran just as long as I could snap its neck and dig my teeth into the lifeless body.

I continued to run and keep up with the deer but I didn't get tired. The deer got tired though and it started to slow down as we entered a clearing. It would soon be my meal. I was ready to pounce. I ran faster and I leaped into the air. I could see the deer just up ahead but it wasn't the only thing I saw. From my right I could see another figure trying to jump at the deer. I growled at it. I had seen this deer first, it was mine, all mine. In the middle of the air, the other figure and I collided and we landed with a thud in the clearing, wrestling each other. I snapped my teeth at it as it dug its nails into my arms. The thrashing and scratching and growling lasted for a few minutes until when we finally broke apart. I was crouched down and I looked at my opponent. Suddenly I wasn't angry. I was shocked beyond belief. I was crouching face to face with none other than… no it couldn't be. I was just confused. It looked like her but different. I stood up as my opponent stayed in a crouching position snarling at me, venom was running down her chin.

"Bella?" I whispered. A flood of emotions overcame me. I was confused, happy, scared, worried, I wanted to go over to her and give her a hug but she just crouched in front of me growling. This wasn't the same Bella. No, this Bella glared at me with pure hate as she pounced at me. My eyes grew wide in horror and I fell backwards. I was going to fight back but found that Bella hadn't landed on top of me. Instead, she had leaped past me. I sat up and watched her run into the forest, leaving me in the clearing, alone with my thoughts. What was I going to tell my family?

**Izzy's Point of View**

Usually when I hunt, I allowed my monster side to come out. I was tracking a deer when I accidentally stepped on a branch. It sped off and I ran after it. Of course my speed was no match for the creature. It zigzagged through the forest and I followed it into a clearing. I was about to pounce on it when I collided in the air with something. My monster side was not at all pleased at whoever this new creature was and wanted to make it a second meal but when I looked at the familiar face in front of me I had started an internal battle. It was Rosalie Hale. The monster in me continued to stare up at Rosalie who had stood up. Her face was full of confusion and shock. I started to panic as the confusion seeped through my body but my other half wanted to rip her limb from limb. I was trying to control myself. I tried to get a handle on things so I could stand up and look at her face to face but I was thirsty and she had made me lose my meal. She was going to pay. Before I knew it my body leaped off the ground and was ready to attack her but at the last minute I forced myself to not grab her by the throat but instead leaped past her and continued to run away.

I ran as hard and fast as I could, without looking back. I hoped she wouldn't come after me but from the looks on her face it she was just too shock to do anything. I wandered the forest for a while, trying not to panic. I wasn't able to find anything else to feed on or at least I didn't make an effort to hunt. My mind was preoccupied on other things.

I climbed through my window just as the sun was about to rise. I stood at the window and faced the room. I stood still and listened. Stephanie and Jennifer were still asleep. I quickly grabbed my towel and quietly walked down the hall to the bathroom. Last night's events ran through my mind as I stripped out of my clothes and headed into the shower.

**_Author's Note: Thank you once again to the readers out there, especially those who reviewed. Your support means a lot to me. I'm sorry it took awhile for this chapter to get out but hopefully you enjoyed it. This was actually one of my favorite chapters to write. Again, thank you all once again. _**


	9. What Happened Afterwards

_**Author's Note: Here is an update for all of my readers. Thank you for giving my story a chance. I appreciate all of you!**_

**Chapter 8**

**Izzy's Point of View**

I walked back into my room in a daze. Instead of getting ready for school I laid back down on my bed still in my wet towel. I didn't want to go to school today. I knew it wouldn't set too well with Jennifer but I was scared. Rosalie had seen me. She probably told her whole family about me. They were probably getting ready to move away again. I wasn't sure if I should feel relieved or hurt at the thought. Either way I was going to stay in bed.

I could hear the buzzard and then some activity in the kitchen. I could hear Jennifer whispering to Stephanie, "Honey, you go on ahead downstairs and tell Karen, Bobby, and Ronnie that Izzy is running a bit late and to go ahead without her."

"Okay mommy."

I heard the door open and close and footsteps coming toward my room. Apparently Stephanie was well enough to go to school. It must have been one of those 24 hour flu.

I pulled my knees in towards my chest as I continued to lie there, playing with my ring and staring out the window. My wet towel was cold but the coldness didn't affect me anymore. I couldn't get sick like Stephanie.

A gentle knock announced the arrival of Jennifer at my opened door. The young woman sat on my bed and started to run her fingers through my dripping hair.

"Tell me about him," she said silently. Jennifer was always curious about my past. I could see it in her eyes that it was eating her up inside. She wanted to know how I ended up being orphaned and alone. The picture of Jacob probably sent her curiosity over the edge but she just wanted to help. I knew I was going to have to explain it to her someday. I was hoping I would leave before she asked but I owe her something.

"His name was Edward. I liked him. A lot. He was the first guy I had ever fallen in love with. I thought he felt the same way. Apparently he didn't. He told me that he didn't love me. That he was pretending to love me and that I was just a distraction. He told me that he and his family were leaving. It was like I had died." I choose my words carefully. I didn't want anything to slip out that shouldn't be slipping out but words just kept coming and all these emotions were starting to take over me as I remembered that day in the forest. "Not only did I lose the guy I loved but I lost my best friend, his sister. She didn't even say goodbye." My dead heart felt like it was being stabbed. "Then there was Jacob, my best guy friend. He helped my through it all." A small smile appeared on my face at the thought of his strong yet playful face. "He was always there for me. I used to call him my sun because he always made me warm and happy when my world was a cold, cruel storm." I was starting to choke on my words. I tried not to cry. "He loved me even though I was broken. He loved me even though I couldn't give him my whole heart." Remembering Jacob was so painful because he deserved so much more but he never gave up on me. "He eventually did have my whole heart though. After I let everything go. He had my whole heart and I was happy again." I wanted my Jake back. I wanted to feel the warmth. I wanted to feel my sun. I could feel the sobs arriving. "I miss him Jennifer and it hurts every day." The tears were missing but the sobs were there as I broke down. My heart just couldn't take the pain anymore. It was as if someone had ripped it out of my chest and stabbed it and then stomped on it and then finally fed it to the devil himself. "I was going to marry him Jennifer and he was taken away from me. First Edward leaves and then Jacob… oh God Jacob…" I just laid there, clutching my engagement ring from Jacob in my hand. The wall I had tried to build to block my emotions came crashing down and I continued to bawl waterless cries.

I don't know how long I was lying there but Jennifer didn't make a move. She continued to sit behind me, running her hands through my hair as she cried silent tears. I eventually started to calm down. My breathing wasn't quite normal yet but I wasn't wailing anymore either. Jennifer and I rested in silence. Again, I wasn't sure how long it had been. A buzzard startled us and Jennifer quickly got up to see who it was. I could hear Karen's voice yelling from the street, "Jennifer! Is Izzy there? We haven't seen her all morning!" Jennifer hesitated before she replied "Hold on!"

She quickly came back to my room and quietly asked, "Izzy? Karen and the twins are here. Do you want them to come up?"

"What time is it?" I asked in a horsed whisper.

"Eleven twenty-three." It was lunch time. I looked out my window and found that clouds filled the sky. I nodded.

"Can you please tell them to come up while I change?"

"Are you sure you want to go to school?" I just nodded.

"I just want to go to my art class then probably come home."

"Okay." I heard Jennifer walk out, closing the door behind her. I continued to lie on my bed. I heard Jennifer yelling at Karen and the twins from the window in the living room again. "Come on up guys!" A few minutes later I heard the front door open.

"Is everything alright?" Bobby asked. His voice was almost panicked.

"Everything's alright. Calm down Bobby. She just had some pent up emotions that she needed to let out. Come sit down, she'll be out in a minute. She wants to go to her art class but come home after that." I could hear the squeaks of the old couch as my friends sat down. I stood up and took my time getting into some clothes.

I found myself at my mirror once again, combing out my tangled hair. My eyes were a blackish brown. They were hollow and empty. I was so emotionally drained. It was a weird feeling. Again, I wondered how I had gotten myself into this predicament. Why was I cursed with this beautiful body? As Karen had said yesterday, people would kill to have this body. However what they didn't know was that they had to be killed in order to have this body.

I placed my brush down and glanced at my reflection once more before putting on my over-sized hoodie. Walking out of my room, I could hear someone bustling about the kitchen. I winced. I knew what was to come.

I entered the front room where the kitchen and living room were. Jennifer acknowledged my presence. "Eat," she simply stated with a light smile as she placed a sandwich on the table. She filled a glass with milk and stuck it right next to the sandwich.

Karen and the twins stood up and looked at me with concern. All I could do was give them a wary smile and reassured them in a quiet voice, "I'll be okay."

They sat back down on the couch and I took my place in front of the unappetizing food, trying not to wince as I ate my lunch. The air was tense. No one knew what to say. My friends didn't know why I had missed the first half of school and Jennifer didn't want to bring up our morning tear fest.

The uncomfortable silence only made me eat faster and soon enough I finished my meal. After gulping down the milk I took my dishes to the sink.

"Here, I'll clean up, you go ahead." Jennifer came up from behind and gently nudged me aside. "I'll call the school and tell them… well I'll tell them something." I smiled at her and gave her a hug.

"Thank you," I whispered. After saying our goodbyes, Karen, the twins and I headed off to school. We took our sweet time. Lunch was over and my physics class was half way over. There was no point in barging in that late.

"So… you don't want to talk about it do you?" Karen really wanted to know but she was too polite and usually asked permission before heading into a sensitive subject. We arrived at the school parking lot but we didn't walk any further. We were going to wait until the bell rang. Students weren't allowed to wander the halls in between classes without a pass.

I sighed. Might as well tell her? I didn't know what I wanted to do. Glancing around the student parking lot, I spotted a familiar bright red BMW convertible. I slowly made my way towards it. Once again emotion after emotion was radiating through my body. I didn't know whether to smile at the good memories or frown at the hurtful ones.

"Iz? What are you doing?" Ronnie asked. The three had followed me through the parking lot, most likely keeping a watchful eye on me. "Do you know who owns this car?" I didn't answer him. Instead, I ran my fingers across the smooth, clean body of the car. I sat down on the hard gravel and leaned my back against it. Once again the three followed.

I didn't look at them. My head was tilted back so I could see the clouds swirling above us. I wasn't sure why I was doing what I was going to do but I felt like that they too were deserving of some sort of explanation as to my depressing behavior.

"I knew a couple who were in love. They were getting married. The ceremony was beautiful. It was an outside wedding. The sun was brightly shining. Every woman was beautiful and all the men were simply stunning. The bride and the groom had said their 'I do's' and were in the middle of their first kiss as husband and wife when all of a sudden the wedding was being attacked. There was so much blood. The happiest day of that couple's lives turned out to be the day they died. Their family and friends were killed as well. I was one of the few who somehow survived." The air was shocked with silence. I never looked down. My eyes continued to pierce the heavens above. "I fled away from there and was on my own. I never stayed in the same place for too long, maybe two weeks most of the time less. I actually lost track of time. I've been traumatized by the horrific memories of that day. No matter how hard I try to forget, it just keeps coming up, playing in my head as if it were only yesterday yet it seems so long ago sometimes. Then I wind up here and I find myself still here after five months. It's the longest I've stayed in one place."

We were quiet once again. My friends were trying to take all this in. We sat there again in silence, not knowing what to say. We sat in the early November air until the bell rang.

_**Author's Note: Okay, I didn't really like the second half of this chapter. It was kinda forced and not really my best work. Hopefully the next one will be better. Please leave me some reviews! **_


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